Korean. American. Podcast

The Finale: One Korean. One American. One Last Conversation.

Daniel Kim

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0:00 | 1:42:04

After nearly 130 episodes and three years of conversations, Korean. American. Podcast. is coming to a close.

What began as a naive and unassuming attempt to deepen our understanding of each other's cultures grew into something neither of us could have ever expected: an English-language learning podcast. Jokes aside, as the episodes got longer and the topics became more complicated, we discovered that when it comes to cultural differences, there rarely is a right and wrong. There is simply different. And if you approach those differences with an open mind and try to understand where they come from, you won't just learn more about others—you'll learn more about yourself.

In preparing for our final episodes, we've had a chance to look back and reflect on the journey: the late nights and early mornings; the laughter and tears; the fears, frustrations, doubts, and insecurities; but also the excitement, joy, and yes, jeong, that we've experienced along the way. We're continually amazed by how much our perspectives have changed, and by the conversations and connections this podcast has created.

From the beginning, our mission was to spark self-reflection and conversation about the intersections of Korean and American culture—to challenge assumptions, deepen understanding, and explore the ways culture shapes our identity, heritage, and worldview. To that, we can both proudly say: mission accomplished.

And what we've come to understand through all of those conversations is that, yes, our cultures are very different, and yes, we are deeply shaped by the cultures we grow up in. Yet, in the end, we are all similar in that each of us is simply trying to do our best with the circumstances we've been given.

As much as this is a goodbye to our podcast, it is mostly a thank you. To our friends and families, thank you for supporting and believing in us. To our listeners, thank you for laughing with us, listening to us, challenging us, and encouraging us. Your emails, comments, messages, and in-person conversations have not just been heartfelt, encouraging, and thought-provoking, but reading them has truly brought us so much happiness. Thank you.

But while this podcast is ending, we hope the conversation doesn't. Continue to observe, introspect, learn, grow, share. If this podcast has taught us anything, it's that thoughtful conversation can broaden our perspectives, challenge what we think we know, and ultimately create greater empathy and connection. The world needs as much of that as we can provide.

We know our own journeys of trying to better understand ourselves and one another will never end, and we hope yours won't either.

Thank you for being a part of ours, as much as we were a part of yours.

Support the show

We hope you enjoy listening to our conversation, and we're so excited to have you following us on this journey!

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128_Finale_pt1

Hey,

Daniel

Hey, everyone. This is Daniel.

Jun

And I'm Jun.

Daniel

And we are Korean-

Jun

American

128_Finale_pt1

What

Jun

that?

Daniel

I didn't plan to do it, but I was just in the moment.

Jun

Oh, really? I was like,

Daniel

I was like, oh, I, I, wanna say Korean too because, you know, I, I think after this podcast, Jun, and three years of dissecting Korean American culture and five years of living here- ...I feel a little bit more Korean-

Jun

bit? than than

Daniel

did before.

Jun

A little bit more? a little bit. Mm. Yeah.

Daniel

don't know. What do you think?

Jun

I'm always curious, like, how Korean have you become?

128_Finale_pt1

Oh, it's,

Daniel

it's a hard question. But, you know, if I was a 7.5 on the Korean American scale before again, one being Korean-Korean and then 10 being American-American, You know, I had rated myself as a 7.5 before. Mm. Maybe I'm like a seven,

128_Finale_pt1

Oh. Maybe. I don't know.

Jun

One to 0.5. Yeah. That's a big shift.

Daniel

That's a big shift. You know, I don't think I've ever... You know, we had a previous guest who described themselves as a five. I'm never gonna get there. Mm.

Jun

Or,

Daniel

would, I think I would have to live a lot longer in Korea- Mm

Jun

Mm

Daniel

and, maybe learn the language much much better. But I don't, I don't think I'll ever get there. yeah, I think I've maybe gone down a half point or one point.

Jun

Mm. In a weird way, do you know, like, there are, like, these very small moments where I feel like you're very Korean. Yeah. Are these moments like, for instance, when we're at a cafe, right? you, "English menu?" Yeah. And you're like very in a

128_Finale_pt1

dismissive way,

Jun

dismissive way, "No." That is very Korean to me. Yeah. I do

Daniel

think I can trick people at restaurants now- when I order

Jun

maybe. Mm.

Daniel

I don't know.

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

But yes, Jun, the time has

Jun

has come. Mm.

Daniel

This will be our final planned

128_Finale_pt1

episode. Yeah. And

Daniel

Jun, I, I, thought I would use this episode as a chance to just brain dump everything in my mind that I've been processing and thinking about as we're preparing to leave. Mm.

Jun

Mm-hmm. yeah,

Daniel

I, I, you know, took some notes and wrote some things down. Basically, you know, things I'll miss about Korea, things I won't miss- things I have mixed feelings about Of course, a lot of emotions and reflections on my time here. but yeah, that's what I was hoping to do,

128_Finale_pt1

so- Mm ...uh,

Daniel

how does that sound?

Jun

Yeah. I think at one point you had an idea of having the previous episode as the final episode. But I thought that this fit in better-

Daniel

Mm-hmm.

Jun

considering the overall theme of the podcast. Yeah Because the theme of the podcast is to bridge between different cultures- Mm-hmm ...And build more empathy. Yeah Right? And I think your transition and the learnings that you learned throughout the past years- Mm-hmm is a grander theme than the podcast. So I think

Daniel

I like that

Jun

in very well. Yeah. I mean, let's see

Daniel

see how it goes. A lot of my reflections are not gonna be super deep. I don't know why. I think...

Jun

They'll be deep .........I had this,

Daniel

I had this, this vision of, like, 101 things I'll miss about Korea stack ranked, right? And it would start very

Jun

That is very shallow.

Daniel

Well, it'll start very shallow, but it'll get super deep at the end. And the number one thing I'll miss, Jun, is this podcast and you, and then I cry. But no, I think let, let's just see how it goes.

Jun

Okay.

Daniel

So the first section I have, Jun things I'll miss about Korea, everyday infrastructure and kinda systems, how things work. know, top of the list is gonna be the public Yeah. I think the subways and buses are clean and reliable and affordable. and even, even taxis, I don't know how you feel as a Korean-Korean living here-

Jun

Mm

Daniel

But I,

Jun

I

Daniel

don't feel guilty or bad taking taxis in Korea. It's quite affordable

Jun

It is. Especially compared

Daniel

to the US, compared to Japan, and like, you know, I was in Sweden recently. Man, Korean taxis are really a good deal.

Jun

Yeah. feel bad

Daniel

about taking taxis. And so uh, a kind of add-on to this is because the public transportation is so good, I just walk everywhere. I'm walking all the time. And because there's so many things to do in my neighborhood, I can just walk to restaurants, walk... Yeah, just walk... And I really, really like that. Yeah, I've always appreciated that even before living here, but here it's just so... s- Everything's so accessible walking and public so yeah, I will miss that

128_Finale_pt1

desperately.

Jun

Is there also a- part of you that is excited to drive in the US? 'Cause driving is easier- right? Definitely.

Daniel

Definitely it is easier- in the US than Korea, right? You drive for longer distances faster. it doesn't seem so congested all the time. But no, I'm not looking forward to that. I prefer driving in the US compared to Korea, But I'm not looking forward to it. I prefer walking in Korea, for

Jun

sure. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Next thing, Jun, food delivery, just the prices and options. It's just such a game changer, especially when you have kids. It's like, "Ugh, I don't wanna cook anything today." In the US it'd be like, "Oh, "Am I gonna really pay that exorbitant fee and tip on top to, like, order food? Or am I gonna really drive somewhere, wait, pick it up, bring it

Jun

back?" Mm-hmm. Korea's

Daniel

the best of both worlds. Like

Jun

Like it's cheap, it's fast,

Daniel

you have so many options available to you.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

And so, yeah, it's really, really a game changer.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

The next one I've mentioned before, it's coupon d- dawn delivery. So I have heard that the US has caught up here.

Jun

Really?

Daniel

Yeah, I, I've heard it's, you know, a lot of things are next day, but I don't think it's next morning by 7:00 AM. So, you know, it's just, it's just one of those things where, of course, like immediate gratification when you order something. It's like within 12 hours it's there. But also with the kids' school stuff, sometimes It's like, Oh, shoot, we forgot we needed that." Oh, is it. still is it still before 11? Oh, great. It's only, like, 9:00 PM." Order it, it's there before the kids go to school the next morning.

Jun

yeah, the reliability,

Daniel

it's just so, So convenient and comfortable. Mm.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

yeah.

Daniel

Do you use dawn delivery a lot? Mm.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Or do you, do you still appreciate when it comes the next

Jun

morning? to be honest with you, there aren't a lot of situations where I really had to have it- Uh-huh before 7:00. yeah, But it is very satisfying. Mm-hmm. That, yeah, that, that immediate feedback almost. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That you can get something in such a short period of time. Totally. Yeah.

Daniel

Next one I'm gonna go with... And again, these are not stack ranked in or in any particular order. brain dump. Rest areas. Hygesos. Oh, Hygeso?

Jun

Oh, Hyundai?

Daniel

I don't know. It's just, like the cleanliness of the bathrooms, The food options, there's so many. All the snacks that you can get. Yeah. they're just... it makes traveling across Korea kind of a joy. Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm. compared to,

Jun

again,

Daniel

what I'm used to in the US, which is like, "Let's just make this stop as fast as possible and get on the road again." So yeah, I really appreciate the Hygesos.

128_Finale_pt1

Sos.

Daniel

The OCR, so the optical character recognition license plate machines- So every parking garage here, you just... You don't have to deal with, like, pulling a ticket, saving that ticket-

Jun

Mm-hmm

Daniel

that ticket on your windshield, like, inserting that ticket when you leave, or you're afraid of losing it, so then you get charged the maximum

Jun

amount. you

Daniel

they just scan your license plate on the way in. They scan it when you're gonna leave, or you enter it in, and then you pay what you, what you need before you go. Yeah, it just makes it a little bit more convenient.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Daniel

Mm-hmm. one, Jun, bus lane privilege. So, Of course there are HOV or high-occupancy vehicle lanes in the US. You know, two people or more, you can If you have an electric car, you can use the HOV lane. But because the bar is not that high, like people are in this lane all the time. And so sometimes it feels like you're not going any faster than the non-HOV lanes. But in Korea, at least on the main freeway, the main highway that goes from Pangyo to Seoul, yeah, we have six people in our car- and so we can use the bus lane. Mm-hmm. So it, it,

Jun

So it, it,

Daniel

just a cheat code. It makes it... It's so satisfying every time we, like, pass all these cars, you know, save 30 minutes plus going one way into Seoul and about that same amount coming out as

Jun

well. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

So yeah, we'll definitely, we will definitely miss that.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

This one's a little bit more meta. I'm gonna miss the feeling that things are constantly improving and being maintained.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

So, you know, just some things where it's like all the intersections near me have turned into four-way crossings, you know, Shibuya crossing style. I think it's safer, and it feels at least more predictable. And yeah, it's just like one, you know, one by one these things change over and it's, It's definitely an improvement. The light indicators on the ground so that if you're looking down on your phone, you can like be alerted that you're about to, to go.

128_Finale_pt1

Yeah.

Daniel

The red-green countdowns and navigation apps telling you how long the green light's gonna last or how long the red light's gonna last, right? It's just like, it's just this feeling I have that things are constantly improving. It's not something that I remember feeling in the US. If anything, it was like the infrastructure is always degrading-

Jun

Mm-hmm ...it felt

Daniel

like in a sense. So, Yeah, that's something I'll miss. I think convenience stores, to be honest, they've lost their novelty for me a bit.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

just the accessibility and uniformity and consistency of them, it's like, oh, if I need anything, I know last minute I can get it from there. Of course, there are still a lot of things I wish they did carry. And sometimes like, oh, like I have to go to a big market for that. but yeah, overall they're still, they're still an at-- They're still nice to have.

Jun

Mm. This

Daniel

I don't know if I ever, ever mentioned it. We don't get physical spam mail in Korea. Have I mentioned that on the pod?

Jun

Do you get physical spam mail in the US?

Daniel

my God. It is so much. every day we get Like, a thick thing of physical mail-

Jun

Oh, wow and it's

128_Finale_pt1

it's

Daniel

just junk mail. But then it's frustrating 'cause you can't just, wholesale throw it out. You have to, like, try to find the one or two important things you might be receiving that day.

Jun

Know that was a thing

Daniel

was a thing. Oh, it's so ridiculous. And so it's so nice here not having to think or worry about that. Every piece of mail we get is very high signal. I would say, you know, maybe 20% of it is spam. But most of it's something valuable. And we only get one or two things a week re- really, right? So, Yeah, that's, that's really nice.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Daniel

Yeah, this is obviously not stack ranking, Jun, 'cause this next one for me is huge. The safety, the feeling that you can take late night walks, you aren't worried about your packages or your bikes getting stolen. You know, you can leave the bike unlocked. I know there's a, a meme amongst foreigners, which is like the only thing that does get stolen in Korea are bikes But at least in our experience, like, our kids have parked their bikes without a lock all over Pangil. Not once has it gotten taken away or anything. So it's always right where we left it, even overnight sometimes. And so yeah, just being able to leave things unattended, whether it's a laptop or a bag at a cafe, at a playground at a restaurant. Or like, this doesn't come up that often, but when it does come up, it's so nice, at the

Jun

beach. like, in the US,

Daniel

When I leave my stuff on a towel at the beach, I'm like always paranoid. like is someone gonna take Can... You know? So in a sense, like, we can't all as a family go into the water, or if we do, we're always like... I'm always, like keeping one eye looking back making sure my beach towel and the stuff we put on

Jun

top- Mm

Daniel

is in line of sight for me just to kind of deter someone from taking it. Again, it's just so nice to just leave it there and feel very free in that.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

so, Yeah, next one is... Oh, this one's very interesting. I wanna know how you think about this I literally don't worry about getting ripped off when it comes to, like, service stuff. And what I mean by that is I think generally I assume whatever it is I'm doing, whether it's getting my o- oil changed or some car maintenance or whatever, right? Getting a paint job done on, on the car, Or like, getting our air conditioner vents in our home, like, cleaned, right? I just feel like everyone's gonna offer roughly the same price, which is the best price and really high service. Otherwise, I know they just wouldn't be in business. And so in the US the comparison for me is like whenever I need to get a service j- job, job done-

128_Finale_pt1

Mm

Daniel

I am s- it's so stressful cause I spend so much time researching reviews, comparing prices- getting quotes, trying to, like, bargain them down to try to, make sure I'm getting a fair and reasonable price. And more than anything, not getting

Jun

scammed.

Daniel

Right? Like, how do I know they're gonna do a good job? How do I know they're not charging me t- two times what they should be? And in Korea, I just don't even think about that, and it's just, it's so nice. Yeah. Obviously, An add-on to this with the service industry and how nice it is in Korea, it's, like, no tipping.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

In particular I'll call out restaurants, haircuts, and massages. Like, these are things I'm always stressed... Not stressed, but just, like, it's always like, "Oh, it's so expensive." Like, you have to leave, You 20% tip for all these things. And in Korea, again, it's just included in the price, or it's not expected to tip beyond what the price is. so you just... I I feel so much better about getting all these service things In Korea compared to, compared to America.

Jun

Mm-hmm. Why- Does

Daniel

resonate with you?

Jun

like- Why do you think that is, though? I

Daniel

think... think... I don't know. I, I don't know if like the, the Korean equivalent of the Better Business Bureau or some organization that makes sure businesses are operating ethically. I don't know if the Korean version of that is just really good- or if consumers are so knowledgeable that they'll just like, a, a, a scammy business or service cannot stay in business very long-

Jun

cause

Daniel

they'll lose customers or word will get out- or people will leave negative reviews. but for whatever, for whatever reason, I also feel like in, in the US, like everyone's just trying to maximize their, their

Jun

profit. Mm-hmm. And

Daniel

so if they can get a- get away with scamming you, it's up to the individual to kinda like, you know, take care of that and be responsible for that on their own. Yeah, I just feel like there's not this collective, Pushback against businesses that are not operating ethically or charging, overcharging, and things Like that. Mm.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

You know?

Daniel

but do you feel that way? Like, do you ever think twice when... Like, when you're gonna get a service done, let's again, a air condition cleaning. Do you feel like you have to do a lot of research here, read reviews carefully, compare prices, or do you just like find a nearby one and just go for

Jun

it? Mm. I'm just realizing the mental model of when you're, let's say, searching for a service- Mm-hmm is going to be quite different- Mm-hmm compared to the US and Korea. Meaning that if just by listening to you- Yeah if I were to be in the US, my number one thought is like, "How can I not be scammed?" Yeah. Or like, how can I not get the worst service- In Korea, when I'm searching, it's like, How do I get the best service-" out of the already okay ones?" Ah, interesting. Yeah.

Daniel

yeah. Like you're trying to raise the ceiling rather than like raise the floor of

Jun

outcomes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

One thing that just came to mind, I think I have mentioned this before it's just density. Yeah.

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

So in the US it's like a plumber- like in the nearby area, okay, there are like five- Mm-hmm

Jun

right?

Daniel

that I can choose from. In Korea, I suspect there's 50- like within every single area. But yeah, I think that density you know, and like word gets out and reputation is maybe so high. In America you just don't... I don't think consumers have as much choice. Yeah. so you're just well, there's only one daycare nearby. There's only one plumber- that can come, or only one car dealer, right, within a certain mile radius.

Jun

So,

Daniel

Those are bad examples in a sense 'cause like there are, of course, in metropolitan areas- tons of plumbers, tons of car dealers. But I think you get my point. Overall, there's just, because America is so spread out, there's just not as much demand- and consumer choice.

Jun

Well, I think everything comes with a price, right? Mm-hmm. I think this hyper-optimized society in Korea could be a result of the super competitiveness and density, right? Mm-hmm. And so if you think about, well, of course, if you think about the life of the consumer- Mm-hmm it's super convenient. Much better in Korea. But- Yeah let's put our shoes in the views of the service providers, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Constant competition- Yeah you have to optimize, could be pretty stressful. Yeah.

Daniel

One bad person putting bad reviews could- destroy your business and reputation.

128_Finale_pt1

Yeah.

Jun

Yeah. And in the same way, let's think about the daycare owner in a small US town is the only daycare center. How relieving would that be? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you have no choice. Yeah.

Daniel

it or leave it

Jun

And there- In a lot of ways

Daniel

does feel that way sometimes, like

Jun

take it or leave it. Yeah. The

Daniel

consumer doesn't have as much leverage in the

Jun

situation. Mm. And so that daycare owner's life would be not as convenient and easy as it is in Korea. Mm-hmm. But they might have a different level of relief and comfort too. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Daniel

Yeah. Anyway, yeah, this was a surprising one. I realized though, it's just

Jun

like, man,

Daniel

it maybe because as we're transitioning back to the US- I'm having to think a lot more about these services. Buying a car, getting plumbers, getting cleaners, all

Jun

that stuff. Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm. yeah,

Jun

I

Daniel

realized it hasn't been a stress in Korea as

128_Finale_pt1

much.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

Yeah.

Daniel

Yeah. Final one is a big one, but just national healthcare coverage- that isn't tied to employment.

Jun

Mm-hmm. I know

Daniel

America has been improving in this- but I'm pretty sure America's dead last in the world when it comes to this. Like, just having a baseline level of affordable healthcare for everyone. And so yeah, obviously Korea I think is probably on the, the better end of this. And so just that contrast is especially

128_Finale_pt1

stark. Mm.

Jun

I have a bit of a mixed feeling towards this

Daniel

Which one? The healthcare?

Jun

Everything- Everything that you listed. Okay. Interesting. Not only you, but every time I stumble upon, let's say, a reels of a foreigner saying like, "What's so good about Korea?"

128_Finale_pt1

Uh-uh ...99%

Jun

it is about the convenience. Oh. Right? Mm-hmm. And I feel like the good... L- let's say there's a category called good characteristics of a country, right? I

128_Finale_pt1

I know

Daniel

where you're going.

128_Finale_pt1

Okay.

Jun

Okay. And I feel like there could be a tier system- Mm-hmm of, like, let's say... It's kind of like, the industry. Yeah. Yeah. Like, there's like a primary industry, and then you move on to secondary, and then you move on to the tertiary, right? Uh-huh. And like, as the society evolves, I think you have to move on from like the physical thing, to maybe metaphysical- Mm. or philosophical thing, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I've never once heard a foreigner say Korea's so good because of like some philosophical thing that

Daniel

Korea's so good

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

of like some philosophical thing that we- Freedom. Yeah. Or like, the peop- People are... I, I know what

Jun

you mean. I, I feel like, of course I'm very proud of the physical things or the convenience that Korea could provide. But I would be more happy if we can move on from them- Uh-huh ......'cause I think we solved this problem, right? Interesting. Maintain this, and then let's move on to, let's say, what is the overall philosophy of Korea? Yeah. 'Cause I think that is something that Korea lacks. Mm. we don't have a philosophy towards things. Yeah. Yeah. We don't... Everything that we choose to do is towards efficiency and not philosophy. Mm. And I think sometimes I- witnessed this in, like, let's say, developed Western, like Western, European countries or Northern European countries where they deliberately choose something that is not as efficient maybe- but choose because it's their philosophy of-

Daniel

in line with how they want their country to Like the ethos of it- Yeah or the principles of it.

Jun

Mm. I feel like Korea really needs that- Mm and would greatly benefit from

128_Finale_pt1

that.

Daniel

I still remember the episode where this came up- Mm-hmm ...which is like, Jun, does Korea not have like a founding document?" Yeah Or like a constitution upon which is very, not legalistic, but like principled. Yeah. like, the Declaration of Independence in America, for example.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

And you were like- I don't think so."

Jun

We have a constitution, but I don't think it's like- But what, like a declaration of independence. Yeah. yeah, yeah. Yeah.

128_Finale_pt1

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a-

Jun

like a white paper?

Daniel

know, it's more like what is this country founded on? Yeah. And, you know, in, in the US everyone will always quote like life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Yeah. Like, that is what the Founding Fathers set out and envisioned America to become. And yeah, Korea doesn't have that tagline or slogan- or

Jun

or founding principles, right? yeah, maybe just,

Daniel

like independence, not being conquered, being powerful. Developing economically maybe. But, you know, none of those are more philosophical like you're

128_Finale_pt1

saying. Yeah

Jun

What if there is something latent- Yeah that people

128_Finale_pt1

Don't really,

Jun

Realize, but there is one? Don't say Jeonghyeok.

128_Finale_pt1

Jeong,

Daniel

You

Jun

know I was gonna say that, right? Jeong, Han, and then Chi. I really... Okay. The founding principles of Korea. That is so sad if Han is a founding principle of our society. Yeah. But let's say... No, in all seriousness- Mm you stay here for almost five years. If you can, like, retrofit- Yeah

Daniel

Yeah

Jun

founding principle of what modern Korea is right now- Man could there be? one?

Daniel

Okay. Like what it is or what I think it could aspire to be?

128_Finale_pt1

be?

Jun

Hmm. Maybe both.

Daniel

Again, unfortunately, I think I have an overall, I think a balanced but slightly negative perspective of modern Korea.

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

Right? Hyper-competitive, Obsessed with economic- gain and status- Yeah and luxury- and, and things like that. But I do think the one thing that I really, really deeply appreciate is

128_Finale_pt1

this

Daniel

kind of, putting the collectivist good- ahead of, like, the individual, like, want in that moment. And just making sure everything in a sense is, set up so that no one can maybe unfairly get an advantage compared to the next person. and I think that enforces some things like very strict adherence to the letter of the law, right? Some of the rules and regulations that are put in place. But also it extends to things like, you know, not trashing the public restrooms because- everyone's using it- So let's take care of it type ethos. So yeah, I think that is probably something that I think is very different between, Korea and America, but I think is, is true in Korea and kind of a positive. Yeah, just kind collectivist, let's do what's right for the greater whole mentality. Mm-hmm. And not just, like, every single person trying to, like, hyper optimize their own outcome within society. 'Cause you can imagine if it was, like, super competitive. Hey, I used the restroom. I don't need to clean up after it I'm done with it." Yeah. Like, why do I care about the next person coming along? or whether it's a playground or anything, right? Like, in a lot of the places I grew up in the US, like, every public basketball court, the rim was broken

Jun

off. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

people would just vandalize it, right? Mm-hmm. And you know, there was no accountability, no, follow through. "It's just it was just had agreed, "Well, it's just unpreventable." It's just, how it is." And therefore, you know, new basketball rims didn't get put up, and like, now people can't have public basketball

Jun

courts. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

And there were... You know. So from that perspective, I think Korea is it's a really good part of Korean culture. Yeah. You know, let's take care of everything for the good of all of us.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm. So.

Jun

I think while I do think that Korea should, mm, try to be more diverse in the way that they think- Mm-hmm and physically in the, demographic. But something that we can really take advantage of the, the-

128_Finale_pt1

homogeneity.

Jun

homogeneity. Nailed it. And the collective mindset- Yeah is that it's very easy, much more easier to empathize- Mm-hmm towards others. Mm-hmm. Meaning that let's go back to the public bathroom analogy.

128_Finale_pt1

Yeah.

Jun

like it's because I have a very strong feeling that the other person wouldn't like this- Mm-hmm so I do not do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there's a more stronger and easier way to understand that in Yeah. I'm not sure

Daniel

the let's say, driving force behind it is the healthiest- but I think the outcome is definitely great.

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

is everyone generally

Jun

follows the care of

Daniel

publicly. and it benefits themselves, but also their

Jun

neighbors. Mm.

Daniel

But I do, I do

Jun

think root

Daniel

of that is, like, they don't wanna be noochibad and shamed. That's the

Jun

That's the same, cause Yeah.

Daniel

Yeah. exactly. They don't wanna feel that shame from others, which is why they do it. But again, the outcome I think is quite good.

Jun

Mm. And it also got me thinking about how does a country define a founding principle- they a- they've already been founded, right? Mm. And I think America is very lucky in that they founded, like, They founded a country very later on in history. Ah, I see what you mean. Yeah. And so they had a chance to actually do that. But, like, how can you define a found- founding principle of a country that's been here for, like, thousands of

128_Finale_pt1

years- Mm right?

Jun

Interesting. At one point you have to do it, right? I think China maybe could have done- Oh, I was gonna bring up China- Yeah a very modern example

Daniel

of this, right? With the five-year economic plans- Yeah and the change of leadership.

Jun

But they had to go through that- Yeah, a very hard time through, yeah, a lot of sacrifice.

Daniel

Korea had a very hard time too. I

Jun

think

Daniel

that's where, I know I wasn't gonna bring this up now,

Jun

but- Mm

Daniel

One of the realizations I had, and and I think it colors a lot of Korean politics and society- it's like, it's like a new democracy. It's only 30- ish-ly years old

Jun

as a democracy,

Daniel

right? And

Jun

so

Daniel

the demonstration culture, like people really

Jun

not,

Daniel

Standing up and fighting up, fighting against, say,

128_Finale_pt1

Oh, I'm

Daniel

forgetting all my

128_Finale_pt1

words.

Jun

An- you know, being very anti-corruption- Mm high

Daniel

of their political leaders- and

Jun

and things like that. Mm. I think refreshing

Daniel

in a lot of ways. And I hope Korea doesn't lose that, right?

Jun

Mm. but

Daniel

I, I think they still really stand up against anything they see as corrupt. And I appreciate

128_Finale_pt1

that. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

But getting back to your point, it's like, yeah, it is a new democracy. I think all it takes is a leader with a very strong vision and, like, realization that maybe the country needs to start establishing some of these- guiding principles, For how Korea wants to grow over the next 50 years, let's

128_Finale_pt1

say. Mm. But-

Jun

I do think Korea had its chance, let's say, after a war. Mm Right? Yeah. Like, when we were basically starting from scratch. Starting over. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. But I think the difference between how the US started and how Korea started is that we... Like, the US didn't start as a post-war country. Mm-hmm. right? They had... They started from a very abundant mindset, right? From,

Daniel

from the perspective of European settlers, yes.

Jun

yeah. Obviously, indigenous Oh, okay, okay ...people got wrecked. Yeah. In that, yeah, like the fou- founding father's perspective. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's like we have this abundance of land. Yeah. Let's, like, let's start a great country, right? Mm-hmm. But I think Korea was in a very different situation where we just- Oh had to survive. Yeah. And so even... I'm pretty sure we had something like that, and we still do have something like that, but it didn't really resonate with the people, I guess, at the time. Mm. And was more about economic development.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Daniel

I think, As Korea has transitioned out of this survival state

Jun

mentality- Mm-hmm you know, now can

Daniel

forward towards a, let's say, thriving

Jun

future- Mm-hmm,

Daniel

Maybe it becomes more, you know, practical- Yeah and possible to start thinking about the more abstract, Principles on which the country wants to grow moving forward. Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

But,

Daniel

You know, all that said,

Jun

like,

Daniel

again, Korea is... The miracle of the Han River, like Korea's economic development, like what modern Korea looks like today is just incredible. Like, I think all Koreans should be incredibly proud of how this country has developed over the last 70 years. It's not perfect but, you know, it is such a stark improvement overall in my mind compared to what it was before. And now I think, of course, they can maybe course-correct things they might have gone too far ...extreme on.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm. But Yeah. Yeah. Mm.

Daniel

Okay. Next set of some reflections, Jun. Things I'll miss in Korea. Would call it the restaurant dining norms. So, you know, when you sit down, you just call someone when you're ready to order or you order from the kiosk. You don't have to wait for the waiter or waitress to come to you get your initial drink order, come back later- to get your main order. You just, like, call, they come, you order. And when you're done, you also just get up and leave and pay. It's so

Jun

nice.

Daniel

You know, water and banchan and stuff being self-service. And then of course, again, I'll mention again, no tipping. I don't I don't, I don't know how I'll feel going back to, like, the more traditional restaurant experience. I think it'll be quite an adjustment. Yeah. There are a class of everyday Korean foods that I just never ate regularly in the US. It was kind of a special treat or once in a while. I'll call out,

Jun

Gukbap.

Daniel

I found my love for gukbap.

Jun

Korean barbecue,

Daniel

specifically like the, you know, samgyeopsal, taejigogi

Jun

style. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

think in the US, for me, it was always like primarily galbi. Ah. Yeah. And so I think moving over to pork primarily I think has been a bit of a change. And I, I like it actually. And finally I'll say some of the comfort foods like gimbap, ramen. Yeah, that was, that was a very consistent meal for me. I might probably ate it once a week for like a year. Wow.

Jun

Yeah. Do you have a go-to?

Daniel

Yeah, there's one near our place that ...I like to go to. Oh. Babidang Kkibidad.

128_Finale_pt1

Yeah. Oh, that

Jun

place is expensive.

Daniel

Is it? they they kept saying like, Ah, we should charge more." It's 10,000 won for, a gimbap roll and a ramen bowl. Yeah. think Pangyo is generally more expensive than

Jun

Seoulville. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Daniel

But yeah, those foods are things that, you know, I could go to a Korean grocery store, get a roll of gimbap.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

But again, it's just like, it's so easy and convenient to find these everywhere in Korea. And yeah, I will miss them dearly.

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

I'm gonna add on to this with cafe culture. I'm still not a big coffee drinker overall, but, you know, I can appreciate the amount of like, care that goes into the aesthetic,

Jun

the,

Daniel

the quali- quality of the coffee. Just like, you know, Korean cafes, they're so abundant and so, So much variety, and they're all beautiful and, you know, Instagrammable. And so- yeah, I think

Jun

at least

Daniel

the suburbs in uh, in America, it's not like that, right? A lot of strip malls, they're all Starbucks. It's just

Jun

like,

Daniel

uh, kind of nothing like that cafe aesthetic, and

128_Finale_pt1

so.

Jun

I think in terms of coffee quality, I think what's Korea is best at- Mm is the average quality that, you can just get- Mm. Yeah by just walking into any cafe. Mm. I am pretty sure that, like let's say Japan or the US, if you find the best of the best coffee, I think it'll be better- Yeah than the best coffee here in Korea. But like your average coffee- Yeah I think the quality is very high. Mm. And I think it's like the top in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. it's

Daniel

in line with the earlier comment I made about service industry in

Jun

general. Mm.

Daniel

Like, if you're not good, you're not gonna stay in

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

so overall, the average level is very, very high. This one, okay, it's a bit out of order, but I wrote down some, like, just snapshots of moments with kids. Just like routines that we had as a family that we did a lot- that I hope the kids will remember too. For example, Every time I walk the kids home from the bus stop, you know, randomly stopping by for some street food. Whether it's, like ojingeo ttukkim or eomuk or gimbap- ......or bungeo-ppang, right? Hodu-gwaja. Like, I just love that. Just, like, walking home, they smell it or they have a craving. We get it on the way home and we eat it,

128_Finale_pt1

right? Mm-hmm.

Daniel

You know, Just teaching my second and third kid to bike ride in the apartment, Danji area. And just, like, in general, bike riding everywhere. I think our most common routes were to Hyundai Department or

128_Finale_pt1

Park, Hwarang

Daniel

to the nearby, you know, Hwarang

Jun

Park,

Daniel

Hwarang Gongwon. Yeah, just, like, bike riding as a family or pushing our youngest one in the stroller and just going on these walks, think we did so frequently. And it's kind of those everyday things that I think I'll miss, and I really hope the kids remember. Mm.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Jun

Speaking

Daniel

of the nearby park, Jun, there's, like, a water splash pad during the summer. That's really awesome. Yeah. They installed a, a, a mud trail. I think it's called

Jun

a- Yeah.

Daniel

Do you know what I'm

Jun

about? Yeah.

128_Finale_pt1

What's the Korean word? Hwangto

Jun

Hwangto-gil? Yeah, Hwangto-gil. Yeah. you know,

Daniel

our kids love taking off their socks and shoes and, getting really dirty doing this mud walk. And, you know, having picnics there, flying kites, throwing balls. I think, you know, it was a staple of our day-to-day life, and I hope also they will remember it.

128_Finale_pt1

it. Yeah.

Daniel

And finally, I mentioned it earlier, but convenience store runs. For me, convenience stores have lost their luster. but for my kids, they they love it.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

"Oh, can we go to a convenience store run?" Like, we'll get ice cream. What can we buy?" "Oh, one snack, one drink." And then now it's especially, I think, sweet because the older kids just take the whole kid... like, my wife and I don't have to accompany

Jun

them. Mm-hmm. the

Daniel

card, and they'll go buy and make sure that they're responsible with what they purchase. And yeah, it gives them some independence too. so I think these are a category of things that I just, Hope they'll remember, and I hope I remember

128_Finale_pt1

too. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

This one's a little surprising actually for me, but I was thinking about it and I stand by this The holidays in Korea feel way less stressful to me.

Jun

Stressful? Yeah. 'Cause you don't have to do anything. Is that why?

Daniel

It's For example, it's just driving two hours versus flying six. Like a six-hour flight, right? It's so stressful, expensive, tedious. But you just, you know, hop in the car and drive two hours to get where you need to go. And to your point, not that we don't do anything, but it's always similar. Like the routine is established, right? Well, we're gonna do this. There's nothing extra to think about or prepare. You don't have to figure out what the menu's gonna be.

Jun

Mm. It's always the

128_Finale_pt1

same.

Daniel

And there is a niceness to that. Again, there's downsides. But at least my recollection of all these, you know, Thanksgiving, Christmas holidays in the US, it's always like

128_Finale_pt1

stressful.

Daniel

What are we gonna do? What are we gonna cook? Who are we gonna invite? Where are we gonna go this year? You always have to plan these logistics. And then like, you know, of course I love Christmas, right? But it's like, I think Christmas in Korea was much simpler. You just buy gifts for your family, right? But in the US it's like, oh, you have to buy so many gifts for so many people, and it's like you have to be thoughtful and purchase in advance and make sure it arrives in time. It's just so much

Jun

work. But isn't that more memorable though?

Daniel

There's a joy to it, for

Jun

sure. I, I feel like I, I can't distinguish the past 20 Chuseoks. It's just the same, like- Yeah playbook, whatever. I can ex- But again- I can exactly- depict what's gonna happen- Yeah in this year's Chuseok, from beginning to end, and...

Daniel

Again, there's trade-offs. I would say in the US, I agree, it's more memorable, Maybe more meaningful

Jun

even. it's also more

Daniel

and more work- in my mind. so there is a comfort in just the routine- that I came to appreciate- here

128_Finale_pt1

in Korea.

Daniel

Kind of related to this, you know, I, I put it under the geography umbrella. It's like inter-Asia travel. I'm gonna miss being able to go to so many countries you know, in these five years we went to Taiwan, Malaysia, Philippines, Vietnam, Japan multiple times, Australia, Guam. Like- Wow. These are countries I, you know, maybe would've gone to one of those in five years. 'Cause it's such a big trip from the US. But from Korea, it's much more accessible.

Jun

You basically went to everywhere that you can go except for China.

Daniel

I have two regrets. Yeah, I, I'll get to it later. But since it came up, yeah, we didn't get to go to China and, We didn't get to go to New Zealand,

128_Finale_pt1

so.

Jun

Zealand. Mm.

Daniel

It's still super far. New Sh-

Jun

Zealand's

Daniel

far still from Korea. But it's at least, we're on the same like

Jun

Mm.

Daniel

What is it? It's not- Yeah, like

Jun

What, what's that? We

Daniel

just fly south. We don't like have to

Jun

fly south and west- Yeah

128_Finale_pt1

the US.

Daniel

It at least feels a

Jun

little more accessible. Longitude. Longitude.

128_Finale_pt1

Longitude

Daniel

We're on the same longitude, correct? And then the final one in this category before I take a break, it's, you know, there's some traditions we had as a family, right? And these will continue, I believe, but still nonetheless, I w- I will miss them. Friday night's burger night, and then we do movies. We always microwave popcorn. Saturdays were supposed to be cooking Saturdays, where We cook something together as a family. That was very inconsistent. but we'd also on the weekends camp together, which means we just sleep all together on the floor of our living And we

Jun

did that far

Daniel

much, and my quality of sleep was so

Jun

low. But I know this is something I'll miss. Uh-huh. Not that we

Daniel

do it and we might carry this tradition forward in the

Jun

US. But

Daniel

some reason it just felt so

Jun

much

Daniel

easier to do or more natural in Korea. Like, you do sleep on the floor. You just bring out the sleep pad and you sleep on the

Jun

and you sleep on the floor. Yeah.

Daniel

right? It's not sacrificing your bed or mattress for it, And so it just felt a little bit more natural here. Yeah. All right, Jun. Next I have some sensory things, but nothing like when you did your five senses of America. That was next level. But yeah, just some quick things like I think the smell of street food, specifically bungeo-ppang and hodugwaja. It's just so good. It's so hard to resist, right? I'm not alone in that. It's like, do you feel the same way?

Jun

I think the general Korean consensus is top tier of that is the deli

Daniel

What's

Jun

What's deli manju? It's like the-- like, it has like a corn kind of mold, and then it has the- custard inside. Oh. Yeah, yeah,

Daniel

Oh, yeah.

Jun

yeah, But it's one of those things that it smells much better- than it actually tastes. I agree with that. But it smells so good. Oh, we do the tier

Daniel

rankings of, like irresistible smells. Yeah. For me it's Hodu-gwaja. Mm. Even though I don't like it... I think I like Bungeo-ppang better, but the hodugwaja smell is stronger for so alluring. Yeah. Sound-wise, I came up with, The cicada

Jun

humming

Daniel

during the summer. Mm.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Subway chimes of course. And then the Kakao dial tone. I think that's very recognizable, right? And I think I'll always be teleported to Korea when I hear Visually just, I know you hate it, but I love it, the, the bright neon street signs everywhere.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

Like, just the, you know, uh,

Jun

five story villa

Daniel

like plastered with, with signs for the stores inside. You know, the crowded alleyways and just, you know, even around here in this neighborhood, like those alleyways for me it's like nothing like it in the US, for, you know, Especially suburbia, right? yeah, I'll miss that dearly. And then this one is a throw- Like, again, in California it's not as seasonal but I love just, like, warm summer nights even though it's humid. I, love that. feeling of just like being blasted by humidity. I definitely appreciate that. Mm.

128_Finale_pt1

So,

Daniel

you know, you get that on the East Coast, but I had been living in California so long, so I hadn't gotten that

128_Finale_pt1

as much.

Daniel

Seasonal rhythms overall, again in line with the lack of seasons in California. But you know, in spring it's cherry blossom season. In summer you get the cicadas. By the way, like, does the cicada hum make you feel even hotter. Is that like- a

Jun

a consensus? Ooh.

Daniel

I just feel like the humming makes me feel hotter. It's like-

Jun

It does give you a sense that it's like peak summer. Right? 'Cause that's when they actually start- Yeah humming.

Daniel

I know, I know it's not actually making it hotter, but whenever I hear it, I'm just like, Oh, it's even hotter than it should be." Yeah.

Jun

I never thought of it that way, but I think it's true. Yeah. Yeah.

Daniel

I love these public splash pads and mini water parks- free in the summer too.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Fall, it's about fall leaves and then hiking season for me. And then of course in the winter, the first snow just playing in the snow in front of the house I think, or apartment. Just our kids are so happy and that's all they need to, to have a great time. And then, you know, in line with the seasons, there's the seasonal street foods, right? Bungeo-ppang in the winter, bingsu in the summer. Oh, bingsu's

128_Finale_pt1

Oh, bingsu

Jun

so good.

Daniel

Yeah. And then the seasonal fruits, right? So strawberries I think in gyul in the winter. oh. Shine Muscat I think comes in the fall. Of course, watermelon, this is equal in the US too, but watermelon in the summer. And then yeah, apples in the fall too, So it's just like, I think we're spoiled in California. the produce is good year-round. Yeah.

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

For whatever reason, whether it's imported or grown locally or whatever. But in Korea, I've really come to appreciate when it comes into season, you you know, because you can't get it year-round, ...like it's extra good to me.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

So yeah, I like that. I think in general, like, there's this feeling Jun, liv- even though we're not in Seoul, we're still in, you know, kind of a urban area.

Jun

Mm-hmm. I've

Daniel

never been one to like urban areas, but I've come to appreciate it greatly, the walkability. but also this feeling that, like, there's always something going on.

Jun

Oh. Or,

Daniel

know, you can always go out and, and do something, whether it's just meet up at a golbangjip at 12 o'clock or whatever it might that. you definitely don't get in suburbia, right? And so I really I think I will miss that. And let me be clear, it's not, it's not that I went out a lot. Like, I think really once every two, three months- I'll leave the house after 8:00 PM. Yeah. Like, that's how infrequently I went

Jun

out. Uh-huh.

Daniel

But just the fact that I know I could

Jun

makes life better. Yeah. you know what I mean? Yeah. Definitely.

Daniel

It's like the island, the island mentality too, it's just like even if I'm not leaving the island the fact that I can't leave the island makes me feel worse about being

Jun

stuck here. Yeah, of course.

Daniel

And so I think just having that available, even if I'm not doing it frequently- Mm-hmm. it makes me feel mentally, you know, Oh, everything's more exciting. There's more possibility in

128_Finale_pt1

life. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Daniel

And then I guess final one in this section, It's just about some of the nature stuff. So, You know, just of course there's tons of nature overall, right? There's trees, there's shrubbery in the US, there's massive national parks and all these things that are wonderful. But at least like day-to-day, I felt much more to nature- In Korea in like a weird way. And I guess what I mean is specifically there's like running trails by the water

Jun

Mm.

Daniel

and that was not as easy to get to. I would have to drive somewhere to get to that in the US versus here I just like pop out of my apartment. There's hikes I can get to just by, by subway, right? I don't have to, again, drive and park And plan all this stuff. I can just like take a 10-minute subway ride to Cheonggyecheon and go up

Jun

that.

Daniel

Even though I take-- don't take advantage of it, I just like, I feel great comfort whenever I see the public exercise equipment.

Jun

Oh. Maybe

Daniel

one ajusshi or ajumma is using like the machine that I would never use, but it's just, it's endearing whenever I see it. And of course I've mentioned before like, You know, just, seeing the mallard ducks, for example. And just like seeing some of the, the, the circle of life in a sense.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Daniel

Whether it's the birds or anything. So yeah, I I like that feeling that I've gotten here in Korea. Jun, next section is home life. Specifically, sorry, like

Jun

the house

Daniel

in Korea, apart?

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Not-- there's not much that I will miss

Jun

Oh.

Daniel

Oh. But the, the three things I came up with are I will miss heated floors,

Jun

Ah, Donu. Uh-huh. Nothing better than a warm

Daniel

floor in winter.

Jun

Yeah.

128_Finale_pt1

It's so nice.

Daniel

I will miss the the double-paned window I think are just-- They're really good. Yeah. They're great for insulation, great for sound isolation, and just quiet, and they're just, they just work so

Jun

well. again,

Daniel

they don't exist in most, most homes in the US. Maybe a few, yeah. At least in the homes I've lived, I've never had something like this. And then I've talked about it many times before. I will miss my Coway water dispenser.

Jun

But that's

Daniel

it, man. I-

Jun

Nothing else about the house?

Daniel

Nope. Sorry.

Jun

Wait.

Daniel

I will not miss the tiny What is it? A washing machine. Sorry, dishwa- I will not miss, Jun, the tiny surface counter dishwasher. I will not miss, the tiny multi-range microwave oven combination.

Jun

I will not miss

Daniel

the lack of garbage disposal. I will not miss sorting my trash. I will not miss- 쓰레기. I will not miss, Lack of HVAC and, like, the constant feeling of, Still air in the house. I will not miss

Jun

인버터

Daniel

air

Jun

Inverter-less. Inverterless.

Daniel

Inverterless. Inverterless. I will not miss the standalone AC units. I will not miss like, drying racks and like, n- none of this I will miss.

Jun

will But what, what about the convenience that comes from living in the apartment, Like the 관리, like the maintenance and stuff like that?

Daniel

I will

Jun

not

Daniel

that. Yeah. I don't mind changing my own light bulbs or, you Yeah. doing some minor housework. I don't mind that at all.

Jun

Mm.

Daniel

In fact, eh, I kinda miss it a little

Jun

bit-

Daniel

...like being handy. For example, like I never had a set of power tools here in Korea. and so therefore, when I was like constructing IKEA furniture, like I just couldn't do it as well- or as easily. And like there's always things I was like, "Ah, I wish I had my drill set. "I wish I had my tools." I'm not that handy, but I think those small things I I don't miss at all. In fact, I'll look forward to doing

Jun

again.

Daniel

I really don't... can't think of anything else I'll miss. The security that comes from living in a apartment community. Yeah, I, I already mentioned I'll miss that But I won't miss mean neighbors. I won't miss halmeonis at the gym. I won't miss... oh, just like,

Jun

Yeah, that. Oh. Is she still there?

Daniel

I stopped golfing, so I don't know. Oh. But no, I won't miss any of that, Jun. Yeah, I I miss my home so much. I miss yeah, having space. I'll get to that later.

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

Yeah. Okay. Jun, I think these are a lot more of the surface level things that are, are, are done. Let me just keep going. is this okay, by the way?

Jun

Yeah.

128_Finale_pt1

Yeah? okay. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Yeah, I guess the, the people now, of course, like, there's a lot of good friends I've made. But overall, I will miss the ability to see my grandmother. Even though it didn't happen too often, maybe three, four, five times a year. Still just knowing that we could go see her. If anything happens, we can be there for her. Knowing that she's there, I, I think being in the same time zone to make calls and things like that, I just... Of course I'll miss that.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

I think I'll, I'll miss the ability to really make life easier for friends and family that are visiting. Oh, I think, again, Korea's been such a... You know, when you host people in the US, it's like, it's nothing, like, really special. Like, it's just within America, right? But when people are traveling all the way to Korea or Asia, especially th- if they're not Korean- like, just being able to make their trip that much more smoother, give them recommendations, right? Like, help take care of things for them. I think that was it was really fun for us. And so I think I'll miss the ability to, to do that and then I, you know, I have often lamented, Jun, the lack of these loose connections, but there were a couple of these I'll call micro-communities- that I will miss. So, yoga with the- ...yoga with the ajummah-deul. Yeah. I'll miss yoga there. I'll miss the f- you know, few friendly faces I've come to, come to know in the apartment community. I'll miss my church life group, small group. That one, Has been a huge blessing. And actually, my wife and I realized, like, we've only been in that group for, like, a year and a half. Yeah, it just feels like that was such a big difference in how we felt, community here in Korea. So we we will really miss that. Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Specifically the Korean daycare and kindergartens. I am still so amazed, and I feel like so fortunate that our kids got to attend them, For as long as they did. just the care that the teachers provide and, just the nurturing environment and... But, but also, like, educational and, you know, learning in, too. It's just, they're so good. Of course, you know, certain parents we've made good friends our older kids' school. And then of... there was also this group, I think I mentioned a couple times our Trans Asia Summit. So it's our family in Korea, another family in Taiwan, another family in Singapore. We would try every year to get together to do a short trip within Asia. And so yeah, We obviously... We could still do it with them, but now being in the US moving forward, it's gonna be much, much, harder ...and, like, a much bigger

128_Finale_pt1

commitment. So,

Jun

I, I don't-

Daniel

Know if we'll be able to continue. Yeah, I'll miss these micro communities Yeah. I think moving on to something I've mentioned many times, this is one of the bigger ones. I will miss the feeling of just fitting in. Yeah. Being invisible in a sense, but more than that, just like blending in. Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

Right?

Daniel

I've often made the analogy, I think, Korea... Being Korean in Korea is like being white in America. okay, you're just accepted. There's no questions, no qualifiers. You don't feel like your race or how you look will ever hold you back in any way or result in like preconceived judgment or anything, right? So, I recognize this is a, a blessing and not everyone in Korea experiences this, but as a Korean American, I, I feel like I've been fortunate in that way.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

And actually, I'll take it a step further. I feel like being Korean American in Korea is even, like, more of an advantage in certain ways.

Jun

Like,

Daniel

I don't know if this is okay to say. I feel like it's almost like being Jewish in

Jun

America.

Daniel

So hear me out, not just white, But you know, Jews have a tight community. I- it feels like they're in a lot of very... Relative to their small population- ......a lot of very powerful or privileged positions. and, you know, but they also get a lot of hate for that, right? And I think Korean Americans, and gyopos in

Jun

in Korea-

Daniel

similarly are in a very advantageous position. But we also get some hate. And so, yeah, I, don't know if that was a

Jun

safe analogy.

Daniel

Definitely not a safe analogy to make, but I, I made

Jun

it.

Daniel

So yeah, I think that's, I don't know if I'll talk more about this later, but Okay, I think that's all of them before I move on to things I will not miss,

Jun

Mm

Daniel

I'm neutral about, and personal reflections. So Sorry, listeners. This is the, the Daniel brain dump, so, I've already mentioned things I, Some things I will not miss, but let me keep going. Things I will not

Jun

miss,

Daniel

Jun.

Jun

Mm.

Daniel

The narrow parking spots. Jeez, like literally, have to be a contortionist sometimes. Like suck in my stomach all the way. I'm still like scraping myself while holding the door open or putting my finger in between my door- and the car next to me so I don't damage the car. as I'm like literally squeezing and like scratching myself to get out of the car. Or like some of the turns I've had to make to like turn around or park in these spots in these parking garages, it's literally like a 20-point turn. Like forward one inch, back one inch, forward one inch,

Jun

back one inch just to like squeeze into this

Daniel

tiny spot that I then have to like contort my body to get out of. It is, it's absurd some of the situations I've been in. Yeah.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Along with the parking in general

Jun

any time I'm planning to drive somewhere- Mm-hmm

Daniel

I've said this before, I

Jun

have to add five minutes at and after

Daniel

to get into the elevator- go down to the parking garage, walk to my car, get out of the parking spot, right? And then on the flip side, when I arrive, I have to, you know, get in, find the parking spot, park, and then go up the elevator to, get where I'm trying

Jun

to go. Mm.

Daniel

Man, it's just like when I was in the US, I remember it's just like, oh, 10 seconds, I'm like in my house, and then I'm on the road.

Jun

And

Daniel

when you park, you just like park, and then you just go into the store. There's none of this additional added time in the beginning and in the end.

128_Finale_pt1

Jun,

Daniel

Jun, you knew this was coming. Things I will not miss: noonchi. I just feel like it's so, even though I can agree it results in some good outcomes- like generally good behavior in public just feel like it's so passive just like I wish it could be more open and direct, or really like people wouldn't judge as much- when you do something that is out

Jun

of the

128_Finale_pt1

norm. Mm.

Daniel

Yeah. I will never miss, you know, I, I will never forget that feeling of like, again, walking from the airport general terminal into the Korean Airlines area. Mm-hmm. And just like

Jun

the absolute silence

Daniel

and judgment that came when my kids were being a little bit loud. Mm. was just like, ugh. Anyway I will not miss Korean Costcos at all. It's just not a pleasant experience for me. I we made the mistake of going to c- Costco in Korea on the weekend the other time. It was like, "Oh, it's not like peak time. It should be okay." Big mistake. it was the it was the worst

Jun

idea.

128_Finale_pt1

It's

Daniel

It's just so crowded. Things are out. Like, so 볶잡해. Yeah, so I, I will not miss that, especially in contrast to how much I love going to Costco

128_Finale_pt1

in the US. Mm.

Daniel

I will not miss not being able to pay for experiences that I'm willing to pay for Again, namely tickets and concerts and things like that

Jun

It's like,

Daniel

you know, I don't think my wife is going to go to a BTS concert in Korea, sadly. But in America she'll probably go to many.

Jun

Mm. It's just,

Daniel

again, if you're willing to pay I think you can get them more easily in the US. Oh, Jun, I will not miss Korean swimming pools. The rules are so strict. It's not for fun, it's for exercise. It feels very kid unfriendly ......for me. And you know, Korean pools being the specific example, but in general, The rules being against what I would consider common sense, like sometimes. Anyway, if you're bald, you shouldn't have to wear a swim cap,

128_Finale_pt1

right?

Daniel

Anyway

Jun

Oh,

Daniel

oh, this is a big one, Jun.

Jun

Oh, you still have to wear a s- swim cap if y- even if you're bald?

128_Finale_pt1

Yeah.

Jun

Interesting. These final

Daniel

are more meaty though.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

I will miss-- I will not miss the feeling of being incompetent. Just like, you know, I I feel so unable to get anything I need to get done easily- in Korea. Everything is difficult for me. And I blame... You know, it's my own fault, right? It's my language inability, et cetera. But yeah, I, I feel

Jun

so competent in

Daniel

in the US, and I miss that feeling desperately.

Jun

I'm

Daniel

so helpless here. And it's so much better with like, you know, I, have the AI translation on my phone and like I can get by. But I, I don't think I, I quite realize how much friction and overhead there is mentally, and like every little thing is, is not easy for

128_Finale_pt1

me. Mm.

Daniel

And so, In line with that, I think it's, Just being a foreigner too. I think every interaction feels like there's additional friction, right? So for example, there's things I can't do in online banking 'cause I'm a foreigner. I can't do online things at the Jumin Center. I have to go in person to get documents because I'm a foreigner, Proving that I'm married to my wife as a foreigner, it is so painful and so difficult. and Like every last thing, it, it just seems so hard. And you know, in addition to this, it's like registering for Korean apps or having to register before you do anything in Korea. Like I remember we were trying to play badminton in the lo-lo-local like um, health center in Korea. And like at some point, like they just switched over where you have to have an account, you have to do everything online. You can't do in-person kiosk.

Jun

And

Daniel

my-- I was just sitting there, like my son and I had come on a day off and we were expecting to play, and it took me 35

Jun

minutes- Oh

Daniel

with the help of the person. And they were confused. They were like, "Oh, this is not working. Okay, let me reset the password." It's like blah, blah, blah. It's like finally we

Jun

got it,

Daniel

you know, but 35 minutes

Jun

later. Mm. Ah. so...

Daniel

These are things I will not miss. And then Jun, next section. The- these are things I am very conflicted about little neutral.

Jun

Oh, wait. Before that Oh

128_Finale_pt1

Tell me

Jun

I had some thoughts.

128_Finale_pt1

Okay.

Jun

First of all, I think, I think you're, you're... About the nunchi thing Yeah I think you're... at this very weird limbo state- Mm-hmm where that you can feel the nunchi- Mm-hmm but you don't know exactly how to behave- Uh-huh. Right? Yeah It's either... You can either have very good nunchi and know exactly how to behave- Yeah. Yeah or fit in or you have zero nunchi, so you don't really care. Yeah. you're- you're So you're in this, like- ...blissfully unaware. yeah, yeah, yeah And then about everything, Having more friction because you're a foreigner- Yeah and I felt like you were the jjampong in the five jjajangmyeon. It's like, because- Yeah ...Korea is hyper-optimized in a very certain way- Yeah in a very homogenous society, and I think, yeah, the expense of that is that one-

Daniel

The exception cases

Jun

...that jjampong particularly painful. And then you know what I realized? I think we should have done this the opposite order. Oh.

Daniel

No, Jun, we'll bring it home with the

Jun

emotional- Self-reflection. Okay.

Daniel

But again, I think these are very... Yeah, I don't think that any of these were super-

Jun

No, th- very understandable. okay, okay. Yeah. All right, Jun. There's

128_Finale_pt1

very understandable. Oh,

Daniel

they're very realistic. Yeah. Okay, okay. Jun. There's a bucket of things I feel very mixed

Jun

about. Oh, this one's

128_Finale_pt1

interesting.

Daniel

Elevators. Oh, you feel mixed now?

Jun

Oh, you feel mixed now? 'Cause you, you just had a negative feeling

Daniel

know, the close

Jun

very good things

Daniel

button works. You can cancel

Jun

The canceling you know, close

Daniel

It

Jun

works. Uh-huh. You can cancel buttons. Mm-hmm. It just,

Daniel

it's functional.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Jun

still

Daniel

stand, I get so angry, irrationally angry, irrationally angry when I see them not operating, I think, in a smart

128_Finale_pt1

manner.

Jun

see that thing I never got. Like, how- it happens

Daniel

all the time.

Jun

Like, Is this just your apartment? No, I'm at I

Daniel

Is this just your apartment? No, I'm at Hyundai Baek 化 점. I see three elevators same floor- ...going the same

Jun

direction. Mm. That drives

Daniel

me nuts. There's no way

Jun

that's optimal.

Daniel

And I think, I would call it in computer science terms, it's a greedy algorithm- Mm-hmm. and a very simple, naive one. Which is like, if someone presses up, all the elevators are gonna go to that floor, right? Whereas i- in my mind, it should be like, well, if one's already going there, the other ones wait for another thing to go

128_Finale_pt1

to.

Jun

Well, see, the elevator in my building doesn't behave that? way. Okay. Okay. Yeah. 'Cause we have two units, and do you... Did you recognize that? Only one- Well, the- Like, the one that's Yeah ...closer to my floor would move

Daniel

will- Yeah

128_Finale_pt1

This

Jun

not everywhere. Mm-hmm. ......But

Daniel

I see it a

Jun

lot. Interesting. Especially in malls. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

I think for us because we for a long time always took our stroller around. We like were kind forced to use the elevator. is so infuriating to

Jun

me. But why do you have... Oh, that's... Yeah, now I understand why you have mixed

Daniel

Yeah. So it's mixed. There's some good about the elevators and there's some bad about the elevators. I can appreciate the silent culture in elevators, but then sometimes that really bugs me, because I feel like I wanna have a And I don't want everyone to nunchi about me, so elevators are mixed. Also Jun, I think like in Korea, at least for me, I spend so much time in elevators compared to the US. Yeah. like so

Jun

much It's a vertical-

Daniel

It's a vertical- It's a vertical

Jun

city. Yeah. Yeah. Apartment complexes.

Daniel

The buildings are like tall and you always have to use it unless you're gonna climb seven stairs to get- to your, You know, dentist or whatever. It's just like you spend so much time in elevators, and so it, it... I think that exacerbates my feeling.

Jun

Mm-hmm. I

Daniel

I'm neutral on the metric system. Like I've come to really appreciate it. And I think I said before in some ways I prefer

Jun

it.

Daniel

But I think I'm looking forward to getting back into imperial It's still... You can't undo 37 years of

Jun

like- Oh, it's just personal 36 years of living here. It's just your personal bias.

Daniel

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I'm you know... But I, I appreciate it's superior,

Jun

right? Mm-hmm. But I'm

Daniel

always googling like, oh, what's you know, what's this size in centimeters? or what's my proper shoe size or all these things, going back to what I know. But I also feel like less civilized when I use,

Jun

use use the American system. Mm. It's like I know the rest

Daniel

the world uses, you know, metric. It's just I feel less civilized. But I have to admit, I'm looking forward to getting back to what I know.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Jun

Oh,

Daniel

I realize a lot of this like nunchi related. So okay, back-in parking, I'm conflicted. So I've come to prefer it. I think it's superior, but there are the occasions where I wanna just pull in. Specifically when I want easy access to my trunk. So like at Costco.

Jun

Mm-hmm. But I

Daniel

feel like 'cause everyone's still backing in, I like I, I just back in and I'm like, Ugh, I hate backing in. It's so much harder to get to the trunk."

Jun

Wh- why, why do you think that is? 'Cause I don't drive, I don't really know. why, do I feel like I can't just do front-in parking? Oh, why... No, no. Why is that a culture in Korea?

Daniel

Oh. I do think it's superior, but I think I would just say it's like the

128_Finale_pt1

group rule thing. Like-

Jun

Why is it, why is it superior? it's just, it's just generally accepted. Because

Daniel

the back wheels are usually the fixed ones- and the front wheels are the only ones that

Jun

turn- Mm-hmm uh, Ah ...easier to accurately

Daniel

back into a parking spot than it is

128_Finale_pt1

to pull

Jun

in Mm.

Daniel

Is my understanding. Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm. So...

Jun

But,

Daniel

know, that's one of those, Jun, this is, like, in the category of things that when I first witnessed it in Korea, I was like, That is the dumbest thing I've ever seen." "Koreans are so weird." Yeah. Why are they doing it?" And then I actually do a little research and it's like, well, actually back-in parking is superior for these

Jun

reasons. And I

Daniel

And then I was like, "Oh, yeah, okay. I was ignorant." I have many examples like that, but, you know, this is a good one that just 'cause you brought it up.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Daniel

Mm.

Jun

I was thinking maybe it could be more of a mentality thing. Right? Like enduring the suffering f- of now for a better future. no. We,

Daniel

we brought up all these theories. Yeah. I also had the theory that, Koreans when they grocery shop- ...they don't buy as much- in one go, right? 'Cause they just go more frequently. Yeah. So therefore, it's not a huge... They're

Jun

not ac- that access

Daniel

the trunk is not as big of a deal to them, right? I had all these theories about it. I'm not su- I, I think there might be something to it too. In, your, you know, what you were saying is like optimize, like put the pain upfront so that you can exit more quickly,

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

But anyway. I I am neutral about having to sche- I feel like in Korea I have to schedule everything in advance, right? So movie theater seats, restaurant reservations. Like on the one hand it's a hassle, but on the other hand, there's like a security that comes from having a reservation. Mm.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Jun

And, and, you know, calling

Daniel

seeing what the wait's like, right? In the US I'm just so accustomed just like, "Well, let's just go and see." And it's just like I don't ever expect it to be a big wait, right?

Jun

So,

Daniel

I think that's, that's mixed feelings. one's good. Salty snacks and sweet desserts. I miss them, but I'm so... Like, they're so addictive and unhealthy.

Jun

Yeah. I told you, I don't

Daniel

snack in Korea 'cause I go to the pyunjejam, I look at all these sweet snacks, I'm like, I don't really want any of them." But in the US I go to the snack department, I'm like, "Doritos,

Jun

Cheetos-" Uh-huh. like salt and

Daniel

like I want them

Jun

all. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

it's like, it's mixed. Also I think one way that I've changed, Jun, I eat so much more sugar in Korea. It's just the accessibility, I think, of ice cream and cafes and desserts everywhere. Also, it's like part of the culture here. Like after you eat something spicy, after you drink or whatever, it's like go, go get something sweet, right? I think that's part of the culture here. I don't know if I picked it up, but yeah, I

Jun

I,

Daniel

realize like I always crave sweet stuff in Korea now. And I don't remember feeling that way as much in the US.

Jun

Think Korean s- Korean listeners might be surprised by this. Yeah. 'Cause the general understanding of Koreans towards sugar consumption is that- way out? Yeah. Is it, is it not?

Daniel

I think that's right. And so this is maybe just like a gut

Jun

check,

Daniel

but I think Okay, the way I would differentiate my experience is I think in Korea I eat less sweet stuff, but very frequently. It's like, oh, an ice cream here and there, or dessert after every meal. Mm. Whereas in America you don't eat it, as frequently, but when I did eat it, super sweet and heavy- Mm

Jun

Mm and

Daniel

for

128_Finale_pt1

you.

Jun

A quick ChatGPT research tells me that, the US consumes 1.7 to 1.9 times more sugar.

Daniel

Than Korea. Yeah. Yeah. I believe that. But I, for whatever reason,

128_Finale_pt1

I-

Jun

I guess this is a thing. Yeah. I think if you wanna eat... I think I might have brought this up in some other episode. Mm. But I think if you want to eat really healthy, it's easier to do that in the US. In the US. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But just average rela- average healthy food is better to access in Korea.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Daniel

I, I, I agree with

Jun

that. Yeah.

Daniel

Yeah. Salty snacks though. Yeah, there's, there's a, a dearth of sal- snacks in Korea for

128_Finale_pt1

sure. Mm.

Daniel

Trash sorting, I feel neutral about this. Mixed, again. I recognize the benefits in Korea, but I'm also looking forward to just, like, throwing everything away in one giant bag. I'll feel

Jun

guilty doing it,

Daniel

it- but I think very quickly I'll acclimate and just feel comfortable.

Jun

Yeah.

Daniel

Yeah. That's it. Neutral, mixed feelings. These were all a little bit more shallow than you were thinking, right?

Jun

Kind of. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Daniel

I, that's why I didn't like it either. It felt very- shallow. But yeah.

Jun

Final section, Jun.

128_Finale_pt1

Jun. Mm.

Daniel

Personal growth.

128_Finale_pt1

Hmm.

Daniel

And like overall reflections.

128_Finale_pt1

June.

Daniel

Okay, let's see. I wrote a section for some regrets. I think, again, some of the more surface level things, there were some unchecked bucket list items. I never got to hike much. Baekdusan, Seoraksan, Hallasan, Jiri San, didn't go to any of them.

Jun

Wait, Baekdusan is in North Korea.

Daniel

Oh, what's the one in

Jun

central Seoul? Bukhansan? Bukhansan.

Daniel

San? Bukhan San. Wait, how is Bukhan San not in North Korea? That sounds like a North Korean mountain.

Jun

Ah, it's a different- Chinese character. It- but I understand.

Daniel

I also want to go to Baekdusan. Yeah. But that might never

Jun

happen.

Daniel

Okay, this one I, you know, if any listener has any connection to Baekryeongdo. please reach out, like

Jun

by email. Baek- Baekryeongdo, yeah. Baekryeongdo.

128_Finale_pt1

Baekryeongdo.

Daniel

Baekryeongdo. Baekryeongdo.

128_Finale_pt1

No?

Jun

I- it's the Korean pronunciation system- Oh where if the kiuk comes before the ril- Yeah the kiuk becomes a iyun, iyun. Iyun. Oh, Baekryeongdo. Oh, Baekryeongdo.

Daniel

Baengnyeongdo.

128_Finale_pt1

Baengnyeongdo

Daniel

Oh. if anyone has any connection there, again my grandma and ma- mom grew up there. so my halmeoni and eomma grew up there, I would love to see if they can be, be some connection. But yeah, I, I really wanted to visit this, especially with my mom, But we never got a chance to. It's really hard to get to It's like a six-hour boat ride one way from Incheon or whatever, and there's not much to do on the island, I think, once you get there. but yeah, I, I really wish we could have done this but never got to. And then of course, Jun, I was painfully reminded of this one at the listener meet and greet. I, I was really hoping to be an extra in a K-drama. But yeah, never happened. I didn't put much work into it, but yeah, never happened. Travel-wise, I said earlier we... I never got to see southwest of Seoul, right? Jeollado, Jeollanamdo. One of our listeners sent us this really detailed email highlighting all of their favorite, like, kind of off the beaten path, non-touristy places in, in Korea to visit. They all sounded awesome. Especially I think, you know, Korea has these hundreds if not thousands of little islands on the south coast. Yeah

Jun

and

Daniel

I think most of them are like, you know, you can have a one-night bed and breakfast or something, Like a really fun experience there. Never got to travel to one of those. And then overall just like, you know, yeah, I said earlier, m- never traveled to New Zealand and China. Those are two places I really would like to go to at some point. But yeah, again this might be repetitive for our more loyal listeners, but really, Jun, I regret I never allowed myself to think of Korea as a potential long-term home. And so things like never investing in the language learning. You know, we never really invested in home decor. It was like living off the cheapest furniture for five years. We never hung many photos up. Like it just never, we never made it want to feel like home. Because We never considered it could be home. And so therefore, as a self-fulfilling prophecy, it never became home. But I think in a different world, if we had done those things, for example, I found meaningful work you know, invested more long-term into the relationships that we had, right? I think Korea five years later could have felt very, very different.

Jun

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

But I think, Because of these things, it, you know, never really felt like home. Jun, I think the biggest thing for me, personally that I did not expect was... Yeah, I think Korea really cured my again, I've called it like Asian male syndrome for me personally, but just this deep sense of like having low self-esteem. Yeah, I don't think there's any reason I should have this, but I, I realized I really did. I always carried a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I felt like I was always like deeply bitter and angry, uh, about this in particular. And yeah, I think just being in Korea, where I feel accepted, feel in the majority, Feel connected more to my ethnicity and culture and things like that yeah, much more than I expected. I feel Like I've gotten over that a little bit. So,

128_Finale_pt1

Okay.

Daniel

Jun, just a couple more Yeah, so Korea also for me, because of the circumstances, I... Yeah, I have not been working for the last two and a half years now. And I think there was very few situations and circumstances in life where I could have done this, being as, like, guilt-free as I've been. You know, 'cause on the surface it's just like, "What job am I gonna get? What language? I can't speak the language." Like- I'm not gonna be here long term. What's the point?" And so because of that, I've had this very precious and special, like, 2.5 years where I can just be present with my kids, read books leisurely, ...like casual hobbies, exercise just like resting, right? And recharging. And I think, you know, putting all that striving And caring about career and status and all these things, right? It's just what a blessing for me, and I'm deeply, deeply grateful for this time. And yeah, I, I just could never have imagined doing this in the US. Yeah. Right? There's no-

Jun

Excuse.

Daniel

Excuse. I, have so... Yeah. There's no excuse for me to just, like, take time off. But because of that, I think, yeah, I was really able to kinda, as, as, you know, cheesy and corny as that sounds, like, find myself, right? And I'm such a different person now than I was when I, when I came here. And I, I never expected this. You know, this was nowhere on my radar. It was all about my kids, their future, connection to the motherland, language immersion, broadening their perspectives. But I never expected me to change so much. Yeah. And yeah, I think that was such an unexpected gift for me personally.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Daniel

And it's like one... I, I hear this is common though for a lot of expats, not the rest part per se, but personal growth. and it's because when you leave your home country and all your friends and connections, All the expectations and societal, Understanding and everything, you're just, like, kinda stripped bare. And it's like a fresh start. and I think in that way, Yeah, I really had a lot of time alone t- with myself. And I really got to discover, like, what are my interests, what are my joys.

128_Finale_pt1

Wow.

Daniel

There's one thing. I, I came to this very clear res- you know, recognition and, You know, with ChatGPT, you know, talking back and forth. But it was like, Jun, I realize my biggest fear right now as I'm, you know, 42 preparing to move back to the US, is that I will never achieve my full potential creatively.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm.

Daniel

it's like

Jun

Why, why?

Daniel

I think I never even had any expectations of myself creatively. Right? I never had the time or space and, you know, coming up from an engineering background and in my, you know, family growing up and all these things, right? It just felt like, well, that's my life. And it wasn't a bad life, to be clear, but I, I, I really have so many creative ambitions that I wanna do, and I now feel like I actually have the ambition and actually drive to go and do some of them. Mm-hmm. You know, I think in the US, I- it would've probably taken me retirement. I would've been like 65. and then I would've started thinking about like, oh, like, maybe write a fiction book. or you know, do a podcast or all these other things that I now want to do. And yeah, I'm just, I'm just glad it happened earlier. and I think I really credit Korea and the situation I've been in ...for making that happen.

128_Finale_pt1

Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Yeah.

Jun

What, what are some of the biggest things that you think have, You think for you?

Daniel

I think freedom to be who I am on my own. Mm

128_Finale_pt1

Mm. Does

Jun

that make

Daniel

sense? Like, it's funny because, you know, everyone says Americans are so individualistic. But at least for me personally I can recognize how I am much more individualistic than maybe your typical Korean. But I also felt like maybe because of my, you know, Korean American... the Korean influence, like, I never got to

Jun

express

Daniel

that or- make decisions based on that, which in a sense makes it even more frustrating. Like, I know some of the things I wanna do, but I don't, feel empowered to actually

Jun

Mm pursue them. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

So I don't, I don't know. It's like I haven't thought this through entirely. But yeah, definitely, like, I feel like I got to know myself and can now prioritize myself because of this time here,

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so Mm. Yeah.

Daniel

Jun, there's two things I wanna touch on very specifically. Like, I... these come up in my life all the time, and have really influenced how I think about things. and I wanna credit them to you very directly. The first is the, the Buddhist principle, I always forget the name

Jun

I'm

Daniel

I'm gonna call it Wonhyo's Skull- a very American accent. But the idea that, like, whatever everything is from within, right? So exact same circumstances on the surface can have a totally different interpretation or impact based on where you are personally, like your mind state, your perspective, right? And yeah, it's just this comes up for me so often, and I recognize it now, right? It's like,

Jun

if I'm

Daniel

in the mindset of, thinking negatively about Korea, everything that happens, it's like, "Oh, it's Korea sucks. It's because of Korea." But if I'm in a mind state where I'm like happy about Korea, ...I can like let it roll off my shoulders. "Oh, it's not a Korea problem, It's an individual person problem." Or I can think of like all the good that comes with it, right? In a more balanced way. And yeah, I think that this is, I think brought me a lot more balance in my life and as you know, Jun, I'm a very turbulent, emotional person. so I think this is a bit of a steadying force. And then the second thing is, the analogy you bring up all the time around the Chinese beer makers.

Jun

Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah.

Daniel

It's like

Jun

I realize now my

Daniel

of Korean culture and how Korean Americans maybe generally think about Korean culture, it's like we're trying to hold onto this- time capsule of what Korean culture was. Because we're not living in Korea, ...we can't grow and adapt along with Korea. And so for that reason, like we cling extra hard and can't, you know, modify or change or grow what we know of that culture. And I think just the recognition of that, I just see it play out all the time now. Which is when you aren't connected directly to the source, like your, your main goal is to preserve it. Yeah.

Jun

Not

Daniel

to grow or change it. And you know, I think there is something beautiful about that preservation. But it's also limiting. And, I think just recognizing again, the good and bad of

Jun

that-

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Mm-hmm

Daniel

me has been a big game changer. It's, you know, changed how I thought about Korean Americans and Korean culture- Korean Koreans and Korean culture. right? I think I was so bold when I first moved here to say, Man, Korean Americans are more Korean than Koreans," right? I literally thought and said those

128_Finale_pt1

things. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

Which now I realize is like, you know, very ignorant and wrong in a lot of ways. but also right

Jun

in some ways. Yeah. I

Daniel

Korean Americans hold onto that more traditional, older Korean culture more closely. And so anyway, those are two things that I, I think about a lot,

Jun

so. Well.

Daniel

Mm-hmm. How do I not be emotional? I... don't... It's ridiculous. Even just thinking about,

Jun

Oh,

Daniel

this is

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this How do you

Daniel

a T, Jun? Oh okay. Okay. No, it's not gonna work. It's I need to do something.

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do something

Daniel

Hey, everyone. So for our podcast only or people listening, we have changed venues.

Jun

And clothes

Daniel

And clothes back to our original studio in Jun's apartment. Because our Airbnb time checkout time

Jun

was-

Daniel

quickly approaching and we could not get extended-- get it extended. However, Jun, walking over here- Mm-hmm ...I had the thought- Mm-hmm is way more fitting. I'm actually really glad that happened. It's not a lucky vicky thing. I'm just really glad it happened because walking over here, You might not know 'cause you're just, you know, sitting here waiting. But

Jun

again,

Daniel

know you're preparing and getting everything set up. I'm not saying that. But yeah, walking over here for the last time,

Jun

definitely

Daniel

getting a little emotional and sentimental. And it just feels fitting that we end our last episode in the place where it all started. Mm-hmm. So yeah, I'm actually quite g-glad that that worked out, and it is Lucky vicky.

Jun

Lucky vicky.

Daniel

I really don't know how, how people

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can do it if they're emotional, but they have to,

Daniel

to be professional.

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I don't understand.

Daniel

Yeah, just warning people. I'm in a very emotional state overall, of course. I'm an emotional person and this is a very emotional moment, however. Yeah, just bear with me.

128_Finale_pt2

I,

Jun

I real-

Daniel

I really don't know how emotional people can be professional and keep it together Jun, how should I be a tea?

Jun

Hmm. You just have to be born as a T. Oh, There has to be a way.

Daniel

No, that's not Jun, beyond the location,

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Mm-hmm

Daniel

I have to be honest, I'm glad that we are having this final moment because, I kinda hated the last hour and a half of recording.

Jun

Oh. You said it was too shallow, right?

Daniel

You said it was too shallow. Yeah, I don't, I don't... Okay, maybe hate is a strong word, but that is how I feel. Like- Yeah

Jun

it,

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it, and

Daniel

it's, it's not that it was shallow.

Jun

Mm-hmm

Daniel

it's, just that it was completely devoid of emotion. Yeah. It was just like...

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it was,

Daniel

you know, I had prepared here and there over the last few weeks trying to put together my thoughts and notes. and then I was kind of reading it, and so it just felt, yeah, very shallow, unemotional scripted, because it was. Mm-hmm. And quite frankly, like, just such a far departure from, I think literally every, every other episode on our

128_Finale_pt2

podcast. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

So yeah, for that reason too, I think it was good to... Maybe we'll still release it and include it, but good to take a reset and be able to have one last shot at ending this And- yeah, landing the plane how, in a way that I think is, you know, meaningful and worthy, so,

Jun

Mm-hmm. I also thought it was kind of... It was a bit of surprise to me- you prepared it that way. Yeah. Yeah. S- But I thought... In, in some way I thought it was intentional- ...because you didn't want to be too emotional for the final episode. But I think this is more fitting. Yeah. Yeah. It was

Daniel

not intentional. I think just what happens when I, I guess I have, like, some task I'm trying to get

Jun

through. Mm-hmm.

Daniel

and... yeah, is there, is there a term in Korea called, like, work voice or, like, work person?

128_Finale_pt2

Mm.

Jun

Oh, definitely there is,

Daniel

a persona, right? Like work

Jun

Jun. 직장인 mode.

Daniel

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So work mode. Is that a term though in Korean? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that's definitely what

Jun

it

Daniel

like putting that list together. And in the sense, yeah, no, you know, no list could, do my time here in Korea justice. So yeah, I... Again, we'll... I don't know if we'll include it or not, but it, I would, I for one would be happy for... I would be fine if we just kinda threw it out, although that'd be kind of a waste. Jun, this is not working, okay? I need, I need to, I need to take a pause. Yeah. Was there anything else you wanted to get out or say before we were able to- ......to- land the plane here?

Jun

I had some thoughts here and there that was scattered and wasn't really merging together. Mm-hmm. But then this one-day buffer gave me an opportunity to actually write it down in a more comprehensive way.

128_Finale_pt2

Mm-hmm.

Jun

Do you want me to read it?

Daniel

Yeah, why don't you

Jun

go? Okay.

128_Finale_pt2

Yeah.

Jun

This is what we're doing for this recording, right? Yeah. Final reflections. Okay. Final reflections. Over the last two and a half years, across nearly 130 episode of the Korean American podcast, we set out with a pretty ambitious goal, to bridge the gap between cultures. We wanted to dig into the root cause of why we do things we do, and hopefully carve out a little more empathy in the world.

128_Finale_pt2

We've

Jun

covered a lot of ground, some topics grand and sweeping, others just tiny everyday details. But looking back at the sheer volume of hours we've spent talking, I think the most meaningful takeaway for me hasn't been just decoding cultural phenomena. It's been my growth in my relationship with my co-host. What started as an exploration of a different culture quickly morphed into my own personal quest to simply understand another human being. In Korea, we have this concept of referring to people as vessels, gereut. It des- it describes a person's capacity to accommodate others. If someone is narrow-minded or quick to judge, we say their vessel is small, AKA gereut-i If they are generous, open, and deeply understanding, their vessel is large, gereut-i keuda. Doing this podcast with Daniel has been a relentless process of constantly breaking my vessel to widen it. And let me tell you, much like a chick fur- furiously pecking its way out of an eggshell, it was alway- it wasn't always a smooth or graceful process. It was frustrating at times. It involved constant exhausting questioning. But nevertheless, as painful as growing pains can be, I sit here today as a noticeably bigger vessel than I was when we first hit record We often talk about understanding others as if it's a warm, natural thing that just happens if you smile enough I wanna take this chance to say out loud, It isn't. it is not always easy. It takes massive effort, endurance, and above all, trust to finally get there Coming from a highly homogenous collective society, we Koreans sometimes struggle to grasp just how wildly diff- wildly different people's perceptions of the world can be. That blind spot can breed intolerance, not just towards foreign cultures, but right here among ourselves. But if there's a single defining truth I've internalized from all of our recordings, it's this: everyone is trying their best in their respective circumstances As this is officially the last episode of the podcast, I have to admit I'm dealing with a lot of profound dis- disappointment, mainly because I will no longer be the guy that does a but in all seriousness, I wanna thank my co-host, my former boss, my hyung, and most importantly, my true Jung base friend,

128_Finale_pt2

Daniel.

Jun

Thank you for creating this opportunity and for being the catalyst that expanded my vessel Finally, to our listeners all around the world, thank you for coming along this journey. you for laughing with us, crying with us, and trying to understand the endless complicated facets of the world alongside us, Your willingness to listen has made this world just a little bit more empathetic If our 130 episodes managed to put even the slightest crack in your vessel, forcing to break and grow just a little bit wider, I consider our mission accomplished. Thank you

128_Finale_pt2

Is

Daniel

Was that a bit of emotion there, Jun? That was beautiful. I think we need to end it. Or definitely have that go last.

Jun

last Hmm? I

Daniel

we definitely have to have that go last. too good. Yeah. Very poetic. Jun also,

Jun

Mm-hmm

Daniel

right before I was getting ready to leave to come over here you know, I've been in a very emotional, sentimental state, but I also say these kinds of things to my, my kids all the time. I'm like, "Guys, you know, Daddy's sad that we're leaving Korea. I want you to know that. I'm also very excited that, we're moving back to America." And, and it's, it's normal to feel both. And my my, third, she said, "Dad,

128_Finale_pt2

yeah,

Daniel

it's just like a party except when it's your final party." And I think, you know, we just had hosted a farewell party for her and her first grade classmates. but again, it it was just such a perfect analogy, right? Yeah. You know, this episode, Being our final one, it's just like Another episode, but it's our final episode. And so it's both incredibly happy and incredibly sad at the same time. So I think Jun, with that said, I think, yeah, I just have a few final words I'll share Jun,

Jun

Hmm.

Daniel

I know you think ddong may no longer be a thing

128_Finale_pt2

in this

Daniel

but I just...

Jun

I can't Sorry. Once I read it, I think it'll be fast, but there has to be a way to say

128_Finale_pt2

to wait to Oh

Daniel

I just Like read it 10 times in a row, then it won't, it will stop being emotional Jun, I know you think Jeong may no longer be a thing in this country, but I disagree Let me take advantage of the ambiguity of the term to use it in my own way. I've received so much Jung during my time here. From the kind lady at the kiosk who makes my coffee with just a half pump of hazelnut syrup every day since I asked her to customize it for me that first time, not realizing how gichana that was of me, or gichana that would be of, for her. Or the owner of the Korean Chinese restaurant near our home, who shares her homemade chigae with us when we visit and sends us off with extra lettuce to take home with us every time we visit because we asked her one time to wrap up the leftovers so we could take it home to feed our turtle." Or the owner of the local burger store, whom after a very, very hard day alone with the kids, helped me to put on their coats Put on, put on their coats before leaving her store and offered encouraging words she didn't know I needed Or the Korean American neighbors we met with college-aged children that moved in right next door to us who take every opportunity to greet us warmly and treat us to meals when they're able to

Jun

sure

Daniel

don't know how much it means to us to have just one family like that living nearby And from the neighborhood moms that always treat our kids like their own Or to the church group that welcomed us in, knowing that sooner than later, and actually very shortly, we'd be leaving. To our closest friends, you know who you are. Your presence in our life has been such a blessing. But in a sense, I don't feel much need to share that here because I know you guys will be a Kakao message away And of course, to our listeners who may not realize that through your comments, messages, and even quiet support, it has meant so much to me over the years. I am always deeply moved and blown away by the insights you have shared and the supportive messages you have sent And of course to you, Jun, who went from stranger to coworker to co-host, and now someone I consider a friend for life I still remember one of our earliest conversations at work where you helped me to break down a problem I was facing in a new way. The way you, you were able to quickly and simply dissect the issue, help me sort out my own thoughts, and gently guide me towards a solution was quite frankly amazing And this is something you've continued to do for me and our audience through this podcast. When I listen to previous episodes, I frequently cringe so many times at the things I've said. I am not sure how you managed to not cringe, or maybe you did and you just kept it in

Jun

Jun,

Daniel

without you there would be no Korean dot American dot podcast. For the record, we are not the Korean dash American podcast. Again, one Korean, one American, one topic weekly You have been the patient, understanding, and insightful steady rock and the engine that keeps this podcast moving forward even when it wasn't easy. As you said many times, we live very different lives and yet each week we come together to talk and hopefully arrive at a place of better and mutual

128_Finale_pt2

understanding,

Daniel

and I think we have. in many ways, this podcast has been a reflection of myself and my time and experience here in Korea. It's been hard, but it's been so incredibly worth it. I leave Korea a totally different person than when I entered. I wanted to start this podcast becau- because I could feel my perspective changing and I wanted to share that with the world. To that I can safely say mission accomplished. I moved to Korea with the intention of helping my children feel a connection to their motherland that I never did and to be proud of their Korean identity moving forward. Only time will tell and it's still too early to know, but I can confidently say we've grown closer as a family, made incredible memories, and that I'm so proud of who my kids are becoming and in fact who they already are This goes not only to my kids, but to my wife. This season has challenged us, but we are emerging stronger for it and I love you. Korea today has over 2.7 million foreigners, a number I only expect to keep on going up. But it isn't just Korea that's changing. America may be known as the great melting pot, But I think it's inevitable that the entire world will become more integrated and less homogenous moving forward For the people moving here, be open and be humble. Things may seem wrong to you, but please don't be so quick to judge Korea is not perfect. No country is. But it is full of imperfect people just trying their best, just like everywhere else Rather than label something as right or wrong, I've learned it's best to simply see things as different. And I think if you try to seek out what that difference is, you will not only more deeply learn and appreciate the Korean culture, but also your own I know this has been my experience And even though this podcast may be ending, I know my own personal journey of trying to better understand myself and others will never end. And that is my hope for our listeners too. Thank you

Jun

Oh,

128_Finale_pt2

Okay

Jun

Okay

Daniel

Jun, I, was-- I I think I shared this with you. know, some of these people I mentioned I also want to write them just a handwritten letter, give them some tteok. I heard tteok might be a good neutral but meaningful gift.

Jun

tteok Usually it's a hello gift. hello gift. Yeah. But- Not a farewell

Daniel

The Korean... Maybe they're more Korean American than I thought. People I was assessing with never mentioned that.

128_Finale_pt2

that.

Daniel

But yeah, I'll just stick with maybe a nice tteok. But, Anyway, I was trying to write a quick note to them, and then I was translating it, and you know, I end my letters like, "Best, comma, Daniel."

Jun

Mm-hmm.

128_Finale_pt2

And then

Daniel

Google Translator or whatever said like, "최고의

Jun

최고의 Daniel." Which means, I think it's

Daniel

Daniel is the best."

Jun

Yeah. The best Daniel. The best

Daniel

The best Daniel. But I came to realize I don't think Koreans have an outro greeting. Mm.

Jun

Mm.

Daniel

Like best, thanks,

Jun

감사합니다. Bye, love, right? Mm-hmm.

Daniel

So how do Koreans end letters?

Jun

You just

Daniel

do a dash or oh, so

Jun

Usually 감사합니다 Then Daniel 올림

Daniel

Oh, okay. So we can say that

Jun

드림.

128_Finale_pt2

What's

Daniel

The plural of urim?

Jun

드림 like to give. Dream Should

Daniel

try that then? All right

Jun

감사합니다. Korean American Podcast Dream 太 奇 邪 了。 嗯。

Daniel

Two Dream. Too cheesy, I don't-

128_Finale_pt2

Mm-hmm